WELCOME…Guest Blogger: The Rev. Jennifer Fouse Sheorn,
PCUSA Campus Minister, Furman University Greenville, SC
I get asked a lot, “What exactly is coaching?” The follow-up question usually is, “How do college students/young adults respond to coaching?” Coaching has become a wonderful resource for me as a pastor who serves and works with young adults. Fortunately, coaching comes with little-to-no stigma, only some confusion as to what exactly coaching is.
No, I don’t coach a sport. No, I don’t give you the play book. No, I don’t offer a plan for what to do in your life. That’s because in coaching…the understanding is that you have already been given what you need in order to make life’s decisions. As a minister, I believe that God has already placed that knowledge within you. I get the privilege of coaching with you as you discover/rediscover that knowledge, your strengths and uncover the steps for your life’s journey. A good coach listens deeply and asks powerful questions.
Coaching allows the space for the young adults to process out loud and to think of options in their landscape of life’s decisions. Yes, we all have options. When one is “stuck,” there is usually another option: a third way.
I’ve discovered that most young adults don’t give themselves permission to explore what their options in any given situation or decision may be.
The college campus and way of life are great settings and backdrops for coaching. Campus is a breeding ground for big, life decisions and stuck places along individuals’ journeys, and students don’t always want to be told what to do. And yet, they are constantly seeking answers. They need the space and time to be heard and to be asked questions that help them move forward. Not many places, if any, on a college campus offer this service: a confidential space where the students get to drive the bus in their own lives, so to speak. Once the concept of coaching is communicated or at least there’s a willingness to try, students generally like the coach approach (though it takes a little time to get used to).
Most of the coaching conversations I have involve vocation or relationship discernment.
The years that follow college graduation can also be fertile ground for coaching. There are so many decisions occurring in the lives of young adults during this time: graduate school, issues of faith, career choices, dating and marriage (sometimes also divorce), children, dynamics with family and co-workers, etc. While most young adults wouldn’t recognize what I do as coaching, I’ve experienced a lot of life-giving coaching conversations. Most of the time, I hear back from the young adults who say, “You give the best advice.” Remember in coaching, I don’t give advice. They have discovered their own advice and now they’re more than likely to act. They begin to move forward and aren’t “stuck” anymore. Decisions are made, not hastily, but with much thought and prayer. I also hear, “You ask really good questions.” Again, my job as a coach is to ask powerful questions that provide the space for uncovering what is already within the person. I continually feel honored to be invited to be a part of one’s journey through confidential, coaching conversations. I truly believe that in various seasons of our lives, we all benefit from a great coach!
